


The New Normal

by dandelionwhiskey



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Banter, Dirty Talk, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:48:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandelionwhiskey/pseuds/dandelionwhiskey
Summary: Danny had an ordinary morning, relatively speaking.Considering how ordinary it had all been, Danny could not tell you how, at 2 o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday, he’d ended up watching his best friend jerk off in the driver’s seat of his car.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 5
Kudos: 155





	The New Normal

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you to thefourfreedoms for dragging me into this fandom <33

Danny had an ordinary morning, relatively speaking. 

He was up before Grace to get her breakfast cooked and send her off to school. He’d had time over coffee to answer some emails, eat a banana, and pick out a shirt that would let him roll the sleeves all the way up to the elbows. He’d even done the dishes, dried them, and put them back in the cabinet; a task he usually reserved for the late evening after a couple of beers on the porch.

Considering how ordinary it had all been, Danny could not tell you how, at 2 o’clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday, he’d ended up watching his best friend jerk off in the driver’s seat of his car.

Well, there were a couple of damning circumstances. One, they were stuck in this car for the afternoon. Usually, this wasn’t something Danny minded. It usually meant he had the opportunity to bring up a grievance with Steve when he couldn’t escape or avoid the conversation as he was always so eager to do. 

But this time (damning point number two), Steve had casually, just off-handedly, tossed out there that he could get off in less than thirty seconds. Soft to soft in a half-minute. Danny absolutely would not stand for such bullshit.

“You know, most people wouldn’t brag about that,” Danny said. “And it’s ridiculous, anyway.”

“It’s useful,” Steve reasoned. “Sometimes you have to be quick about it.”

“Sure, if you have a problem to begin with. Some people-- most people, Steve-- prefer to take their time with these things. Do you ever do anything that isn’t one hundred percent efficient?”

Steve considered this and pursed his lips. “I drink beer with you. That’s pretty useless.”

“Useless,” Danny echoed. “Let me tell you something, if we didn’t have our beach beers, that black, coal heart of yours would turn to diamond with all that- that pressure that would build up inside of you. You want that?”

“Diamonds are more valuable than coal,” Steve mused. Danny really could just sock him, he could; but there were more important things to deal with.

“What I don’t understand is why you’d lie about something so stupid.” Danny crossed his arms over his chest. “I thought you just lied to yourself. ‘I can make that jump,’ et cetera.”

“Have I never not made the jump, Danno?”

Danny laughed. “So you admit that you’re lying.”

“I didn’t say that,” Steve said. “What do you want, proof?”

Danny had an ordinary morning. If he’d known that in just a few hours he’d be sitting in the passenger seat of his car, nodding enthusiastically to encourage Steve to whip out his soft dick, maybe he would have had a grilled cheese for breakfast instead. 

“Fine,” said Steve, “I’ll prove it. Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“For me!” Danny held up his hands defensively. “The only thing I’m getting out of this is proving that you’re human. Sometimes we both need the reminder.” 

Steve rolled his eyes, but he had that small tug at the corner of his lips that exposed his amusement. He tilted the seat back, just enough so he could spread his long legs, and Danny suddenly felt like the air was thinner. 

“Hold your horses, Casanova, let me get a timer going,” Danny said, fumbling to open the clock app on his phone. “Thirty seconds, soldier.”

“Or less,” Steve said, giving Danny a quick side-eye.

Danny started the timer, and his very ordinary day disappeared in front of his very eyes.

At zero seconds, Steve pulled himself from his pants and the tips of Danny’s ears went hot.

At ten seconds, Steve was firming up. He moved his thumb in small circles just under the head of his dick, his index finger just ghosting over the slit while he ignored the shaft entirely.

At fifteen seconds, Danny realized he hadn’t blinked yet. He cleared his throat. “Halfway done,” he said, and Steve’s whole body twitched. His eyes were closed in concentration, tip just barely sticky, still only half-hard. 

At twenty-six seconds, Danny was pretty sure he was about to win. Steve’s breathing hadn’t changed, he had no red in his cheeks, and he wasn’t even fully hard. Not that he didn’t seem into it; Danny noted the small flicks of Steve’s tongue against his bottom lip, the way his fingers were starting to press just a little harder. If he’d had another minute, maybe Steve could--

At twenty-nine seconds, Steve abruptly pulled the hem of his shirt up and shot a single streak across his stomach, the rest pulsing out in a slow dribble as his face slowly broke out in a grin. As his eyes peeled open to catch Danny’s, the timer on his phone went off. 

“Told ya,” said Steve, rolling his shoulders. “Pass me a napkin?”

“You’re a freak.” Danny swallowed, mouth drier than he expected, as he shoved some napkins toward Steve. He tried very hard not to think about how they had Kamekona’s face printed on them as Steve cleaned himself up.

“Not a liar, though,” Steve said pleasantly. Danny wondered if he would survive punching Steve in the stomach, then decided against it. 

“Yeah, yeah, you win. But I maintain that it isn’t exactly something to go shouting from the rooftops about, it’s--  _ What _ are you staring at?” 

Steve scoffed and raised an eyebrow. “Who’s staring? It’s polite to look at someone when they’re talking.”

“Since when do you have manners? Stop looking at me.” 

“Looks like you got a problem, Danno.” 

Danny flushed so quickly he could hear the rush of blood between his ears. He shoved his hands in his lap to cover himself and glared daggers through the windshield. 

“Hey, nothing to be ashamed of, buddy,” Steve said, casually shoving his disgusting napkins into the car garbage that Danny had insisted on installing if Steve insisted on eating in it. “I could show you how to do it.”

“I don’t want to know how to do it,” Danny said sharply. “What you do is no  _ fun _ . I prefer to, you know, be a gentleman.”

“What, like take yourself out for dinner first? Candles, chocolates?”

“No, you jackass, I just mean I’m not interested in tossing one off on my lunch break, all right?” Danny shifted and started to hum, staring pointedly out the window. 

“Are you singing Mary Had a Little Lamb?”

“It helps it go away,” Danny snapped. “Shut up and turn on the radio or something.”

“And I’m the freak,” Steve sighed, reaching for the knob.

///

The thing was, Danny pondered later that evening, he wasn’t allowed to have ordinary days anymore. Not since he leashed himself to the most unpredictable man on the planet. 

Like tonight, Steve was supposed to come over and steal half the food Danny cooked himself for dinner. Grace was at a sleepover, and Danny didn’t love how empty the apartment felt on the quiet nights alone. After an hour of keeping Steve’s portion warm in the oven, Danny gave up and cracked open a beer to start clearing the table. 

His phone rang. When he saw Steve’s name flash across the caller ID, he briefly considered not answering it. He rolled his eyes, swiped up to answer, and didn’t even get the chance to say hello. 

“I was thinking about what you said, about taking your time.”

“Uh-huh,” Danny said suspiciously. He scooted back from the dinner table, grabbed his beer, and made his way to the couch in the living room.

“What if you, y’know. Told me how you did it.” 

Danny tripped over the coffee table and stumbled into a seated position on the couch, unsure if he really just heard what he thought he did. “Are you asking me to talk dirty to you?”

“Did I say that?”

“No, you just asked me to detail my private process for you,” Danny said. “Totally normal.”

“‘Private process,’ huh,” Steve said, amused. Danny could just hang up on him, that would be completely reasonable given the circumstances. “Look, maybe you could teach me a thing or two.” 

“Now I  _ know _ the line is bugged,” Danny said, and Steve huffed a little through the line. “All right, all right. You came to me for help, the least I could do is lend to you my expertise.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” 

“Go ahead, then.”

“Um.” Danny blinked. “I’m on the couch.” 

“So? I’ve jerked off on that couch dozens of times.”

“You’ve  _ what _ ?” Danny squawked. “I swear to God, Steve, every time I think you’ve reached a new high of inconsiderate, you--”

“Danno,” Steve interrupted, voice low and commanding. “Just do it.”

“Yeah, okay. Uh, so, I guess the first thing I would do is…”

“Mmhmm.”

Danny swallowed thickly. “Touch myself through my pants. Just to see if I’m in the mood.” Danny cupped his hardening dick, swiping his thumb over the imprint of it. He was definitely in the mood.

“Then you start--”

“Slow down,” Danny growled. “You wanna hear how I do it, or what?” Steve had the grace to not reply. 

Danny slipped the button from his pants, slowly pulling the zip down until the bulge of his cock was visible under his tight boxer briefs. He licked his lips and dragged his fingernails up his stomach, over his shirt, and thumbed at one of his nipples. 

He detailed all this to Steve. “Just helps me be present,” he explained, giving his treasure trail a slight tug. “Then, just a couple fingers under the waistband.”

Steve was quiet except for his breathing. It was steady and distracting; Danny almost asked him to shut the hell up but he found that the rhythm of it was actually sending him deeper into the moment. He could almost picture how it would feel to have that breath on his ear, imagine the hand on his hip was bigger and more demanding. 

And somehow, that was working for him.

“You doin’ it yet?”

“Impatient,” Danny chided lightly. But he was feeling more compelled to move things along, so he said, “but, sure. Pulling down the underwear.”

“You got--”

“Yeah.” Danny leaned forward and took a couple of squirts from the unscented lotion on the coffee table, and froze. “Don’t tell me this is why you put this here.”

“It can serve more than one purpose,” Steve said. “You also get dry hands.” 

Sighing, Danny leaned back and tried to find the strength to be annoyed. Instead, he found his slick hand creeping down toward his cock to grip the base. “Well, they’re not dry now.”

“Yeah? What are they doing?”

“Squeezing. Making sure everything is, uh, smooth sailing, so to speak.” Danny gave himself a few firm strokes, just to spread the lotion, and let out an involuntary grunt. Steve hummed in appreciation on the other side of the line and Danny’s eyes shot open.

“You’d better not be enjoying this. It’s purely instructional.”

Steve gave him a low, velvety chuckle. “Always liked school.”

“Liar,” Danny said, flicking his wrist in a very particular way that made his toes curl, “bet you were always skipping class to go, I don’t know, base jumping or whatever you did in third grade-- oh.” 

“Oh? Oh, what?” 

“Just, hm.” Danny flexed his fingers and started to speed up, careful to roll his wrist on the upstroke to press his thumb under the head. “Just tryin’ one of your techniques. It’s… good.” 

“You like it, huh?” Steve asked, and the question seemed to cloud Danny’s mind even further. He did like it, which was just another tick mark in the Weird column for this entire day. “Feels good?”

“Yeah, Steve,” Danny said. It sounded much more sarcastic in his head. 

“Feels even better with a tongue there.” Steve had absolutely no right to say those things while Danny was jerking off, had  _ no right _ making Danny’s whole body shudder. 

“I’ve had a blowjob, thank you,” Danny said, strained. 

“Sure, but… have you?” Steve asked. The implication lingered for a moment as Danny’s hand slowed down and he tried to parse out exactly what was happening here. After a beat, Steve broke the silence. “Don’t think, Danno, just keep going.” 

Danny let out a long breath and nodded to himself. There was time to have a meltdown later; for now, he had bigger things to focus on, like-- “I’m getting, uh, there’s. I’m wet,” he said, blush hot along his cheeks. “Don’t usually get that way.”

“What’s doing it, then? My voice?”

“Your voice, yeah right,” Danny mumbled. “It’s a wonder I can keep it up with you yammering in my ear.”

“But you can,” Steve said cheerfully. “And you’re probably gonna come while I’m talking to you, huh, Danno?”

“No,” he lied. Danny could already feel the tingling that prickled down his inner thighs when he was passing the halfway mark. “Not that I’m gonna be able to stop you.”

The slick sound of Danny’s hand was nearly drowned out by his panting breaths, but he wagered Steve could still hear it over the phone. If he was a betting man, he’d say Steve could probably hear all the way down to the way Danny was rolling his hips up into his palm, and how hard his heart was beating.

“Close, huh?” Steve said. There was rustling on Steve’s end that Danny didn’t have the brainpower to decipher, but he decided to imagine Steve shucking off his pants and taking his cock in hand, jerking off to the sound of Danny touching himself. The image made him swear softly. He hoped Steve hadn’t heard. “Yeah, you’re close.”

“Ah, fuck you,” Danny said through grit teeth. “This is all your fault.”

“Happy to take the credit,” Steve said. “You gonna come? Where?”

“God, you’re so-- persistent. In my hand.”

“Nah, do what I did. All over yourself.”

“I already took a shower,” Danny complained, but he was yanking his shirt up and splaying his free hand just above his belly button. He planted one foot on the couch and tilted his hips back toward himself. The position was downright shameless and Danny could imagine being pulled into it, a warm body pressing up between his thighs, against his ass. 

“That what you want?”

“Huh?” Danny blinked blearily.

“Someone between your thighs,” Steve said, as it dawned on Danny that he’d still been talking aloud, “grinding against your ass.” 

“God, fuck,” Danny grunted, and tensed up for that bright moment of pleasure before as he came, thick and warm on his stomach and knuckles. He kept stroking himself through it, hips jerking, allowing himself to come down slowly from the peak. 

Once his ass hit the couch cushion again, a cold realization started to trickle down the back of his neck. What the fuck was  _ that _ ? “Uh.”

“Seems like your technique could still use some work,” Steve said. “Maybe I need a better demonstration, then I can give you some tips.”

“I’ll give you a tip,” Danny grumbled. His adrenaline was pumping, anxiety bubbling just under the surface of his skin. “Wait, did you--”

“Go clean up, Danno,” Steve said. “Then we can talk strategy.”

Steve hung up before Danny had the chance to respond. He stared at his phone accusingly, as if he could will it to explode, but it sadly didn’t comply. 

Danny felt light on his feet as he went to the bathroom and looked himself in the mirror. He didn’t feel any different, save for the embers at the base of his stomach that still hadn’t cooled. None of this was ordinary. He barely remembered what ordinary felt like. Steve was new, and electric, and confusing, and somehow the safest Danny ever felt was with him. 

In the third shower of the day, Danny figured ordinary just wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.


End file.
